Review: Torched - 2004

Torched

Director: Ryan Nicholson

2004

Horror

Deanna is a Nurse. One day she gets attacked in the elevator when she’s going to work and brutally raped. From this moment on she only has one thought in her mind – revenge! She plans the most cruel revenge scenarios of all, kidnaps the guy she is convinced is the perpetrator and gets to it! She will get her revenge – with a blow torch…

This was Ryan Nicholson’s first film with some length to it. It’s not very long anyway but if you compare it to a general short it’s still a bit longer. It’s about 44-45 minutes and there’s no time for character development. We get a rape scene almost immediately and that’s that. It’s not really an exploiting kind of scene but the theme itself is obviously revolting.

There is more focus on the actual revenge than on anything else. It’s rather monstrous executed and I would like to meet the guy who can watch some penis mutilation without quivering just a bit. If I would place this film in a genre, except for horror of course, I should be splatter. It’s a fine example of that, but there’s not really any humor as we’re used to. Maybe the blood splats a little too much for my taste and the effect of that might me more ridicules than anything else. As usually less is often more!

But you have to take into consideration that this is a flick that was made to learn a thing or two on how to make movies. Neither Ryan Nicholson nor the others are really master filmmakers yet. That is if you ever can master the art of making films? Like in everything else there are always thing to learn I’d say. However, I’d like to see this film as an interesting landmark when it comes to early career achievements. I can’t that That I recognize Ryan’s style so much in it but there are close ups of male genitals in it, faked of course!

But it gets a bit thin, the actors are hideous most of the time ‘and the whole production stinks of amateurism when it comes to editing and locations. And the fact is that even if the film starts right away, it still moves onward in a painfully slow pace. I would much rather have seen Ryan Nicholson’s original script, which is mentioned in the extras, if I’m going to completely honest with you.

But even if the film doesn’t attract me so much I still like the release! It’s a film that might be somewhat difficult to find on the market and it shouldn’t even have been released if I get it correctly. There was another version of the film in circulation on the net though and it’s been out there for a long time, maybe even since 2004. But this is the extended version with extra torture, new music and stuff like that. It looks great and if you’re a collector you must have this!

Review: Famine - 2011

Famine

Director: Ryan Nicholson

2011

Horror

This is kind of a slasher flick, but it’s not. It’s also kind of a splatter movie, but it’s not. You might compare it to a rape/revenge fcli but there’s no rape. I guess you could say it’s something right in between. The actors are quite bad, but that’s to be expected. The story is ok I guess and the script does what it’s supposed to do – except… There are sexual tensions throughout the entire movie, actresses with huge tits and low angel camera shots but there´s not enough real sleaze! I feel that we get fooled out of our rightful share of skin and compared to what Ryan did in Hanger and Gutterballs this is a bit lame in that sense.

The gore is nice though! It’s not overdone and it mostly looks realistic. I like when it’s like that. When there are too much intestines the comic effect is more disturbing than anything else. Here is just one scene (that I can remember) where guts are spilled in that manner and even then it looks fine! The makeup effects are also quite good and serve the movie well. Especially when we get to see the acid burned teacher Balszak which might or might not be behind the entire smorgasbord of killing in the movie. He’s definite a suspect!

But it’s not very important who’s exposed as the killer in the end. We should be more interesting in the way there than the final solution of things. There are a few entertaining murders on the way and that’s where the entertaining lies. The killer is masked as the school’s mascot by the way, a very cool mask for the murderer I would say!

And even though the actors are really bad and we get fooled out of the nudity (there’s only one short topless scene) I still like it. I don’t quiver with joy over it but it’s good fun and cool murders!

6/10

News: Upcoming on this blogg!

In a couple of days I plan to have a review of this new film by Ryan Nicholson up for you!

Review: Hanger - 2009

Hanger
Director: Ryan Nicholson
2009
Horror

Eighteen years ago a boy was born. He was thrown in a garbage container and left to die. His mother was a hooker and as she got pregnant she wasn’t to any use for her pimp anymore, no one was prepared to pay to bang her. The pimp solved the matter by aborting her unborn child with a hanger. Unfortunate for her she didn’t survive the procedure – and the child? Well, somehow he manages to survive and was taken care of by a homeless bum. Now, eighteen years later, the revenge is coming…

In Gutterballs, which I wrote about a little while ago, was not spare on showing genitals. At least not male ones and here it’s no less. Perhaps this is because it’s the same man – Ryan Nicholson who has directed this. I’d say it’s fairly probable that he likes having that kind of sleaze in his movies. This movie doesn’t contain as much male genitals though, but there are a couple of scenes with female ones. If they’re real or faked with latex I can’t really say, but it look really good. And in a couple of masturbation scenes there is no doubt!

"a future cult classic"

The theme is undeniable sexual, but it didn’t have to be. There are plenty of other films with revenge themes without having visible genitals and works fine anyway. But in the same time this represents something a little bit unusual and I think it make the whole thing a bit charming. The actors are pretty weak but there is something pleasing with the weird characters. I would call many of them retarded or mentally challenged and the dialog is pretty funny. The talk about pornography and categorizes it in different categories. They work at a garbage disposal place and collect whatever appeals to them; they all have different tastes in what arouses them.

There are also a couple of pretty explicit perversions in the movie, quite nasty to be frank, and this is not even a particular disgusting film. But a couple of scenes are a bit hard to see and that says a lot when it comes from an experienced critic with a soft spot for different flicks with challenging scenes.

I’m pretty pleased with the picture really. It’s not a masterpiece but the best I’ve seen from Ryan Nicholson so far. I will be interesting to se if he can do even more shocking films in the future. I think that he’s a movie maker I will have a good relationship to, or at least his movies. I hope for the best and I think that this will be a future cult classic!

Review - Gutterballs - 2008

Gutterballs
Regi: Ryan Nicholson
2008
Horror

Two gangs are rivals to each other and they meet at the local bowling alley. One thing leads to another and after a while one of the guys – Steve, has had it. He’s been humiliated for the last time and wants revenge real soon! When one of the girls in the other gang forgets her purse is he there waiting for her with some of his friends. It’s dark and they attack the girl with everything they’ve got. They brutally rape her and the rest of the movie, the main story begins. Someone is killing the bowlers one by one in bloody and perverted ways.

My only earlier encounter with Ryan Nicholson is Live Feed, a movie that had a fantastic cover that attracted me to it like few other films have.Unfortunate it was a real disaster. This movie is available with a very pleasing image on the cover too. A parody of Maniac, there is even a paraphrase of the tagline I Warned You Not to Bowl Tonight. On this release we are spared that kind of humour though, thankfully!

The actors are all quite bad but that’s something you’ll have to take when it comes to movies like this one. The main and most important thing is that the murder scenes are innovative and entertaining, and they are most of the time. I wouldn’t say that the murderous ways are a surprise all the time but since Ryan Nicholson doesn’t seem to be afraid to show genitals, real or fake, there is a lot of perverted ways someone can die in. There is obviously some sex in the movie, not any really pornographic scenes but a bit more than you might be used to from the typical slasher.

I think the murderer looks pretty cool even if the first appearance has kind of a comical effect. I really understand that the characters get killed in this movie by the way. They are so annoying that I couldn’t stand them for very long either. That guy, Steve… I wouldn’t last many minutes if I was in the same room as him, such a self centred asshole, a real loser. He complains about everything and many of the other characters do too. You can’t wait for them to die one by one!

The ending sequence feels pretty forced but you have to see this for what it is. It’s a kind of slasher and all the characters shouldn’t me likeable. But on the other hand, it doesn’t get very exciting if you can’t feel sorry for them either. But I don’t really think that Ryan Nicholson means to make this movie exciting or thrilling, it doesn’t really have that style. I think it’s made for pure entertainment and what more can you ask for than a bowling pin rape? Well, the revenge obviously!