Extreme Flick Week: The Gateway Meat - 2008

The Gateway Meat

Director: Ron DeCaro

2008

Extreme

Set in present time, society is getting stale when everyone revolves to using I phones and stuff and going with the flow rather than to actually think by themselves. The President of the United States I shot and in the aftermath a family of Satanists takes this as a sign for attempting to open a doorway to hell.

Some of these extreme flicks are a bit hard to comprehend. I mean, I would never had figured the above out if it hasn’t been written in the beginning of the film. There’s a lot of violence but I couldn’t have figured out the Satanist part. I’m also lost when it comes to how the doorway to hell should be opened. But on the other hand, there would be no chance in hell that I’d figure out Begotten either…

The strong part of the movie isn’t necessarily the violence – at least not by itself. But there is the contrast of the kid, a girl maybe four or five years old, and the over-the-top violence that really makes me uncomfortable when I watch. The scenes are mixed and it goes from ultraviolent to beautiful and innocent in a heartbeat. There are beautiful sequences of flowers and butterflies and suddenly gross footage of a decomposing corpse which is very unsettling. It’s done a few times and succeeds in shocking effect ever time too!

It’s hard to evaluate the acting, what should be the comparison point? It’s not anything that would get any award but on the other hand it’s a bit better than most of the low budget splatter films I’ve seen. And there’s not much humor either (luckily). Many of the scenes are very original and there seems to be a lot of thought out in the filth. There isn’t so much nudity but it makes up for that with the gore. It’s really well done and there at few if any scenes where someone chews on intestines’, it’s a matter of opinion really (no it’s not a cannibalistic flick).

It’s a gross movie and as I said before I was very uncomfortable at times. Still it’s a very slow paced story that I don’t really get. There are odd characters which are very entertaining and if you exclude the Satanist part it’s so much more entertaining! Look at the gore, the violence and the portrayal of the characters and you might find it really entertaining!

5/10

Review: Torched - 2004

Torched

Director: Ryan Nicholson

2004

Horror

Deanna is a Nurse. One day she gets attacked in the elevator when she’s going to work and brutally raped. From this moment on she only has one thought in her mind – revenge! She plans the most cruel revenge scenarios of all, kidnaps the guy she is convinced is the perpetrator and gets to it! She will get her revenge – with a blow torch…

This was Ryan Nicholson’s first film with some length to it. It’s not very long anyway but if you compare it to a general short it’s still a bit longer. It’s about 44-45 minutes and there’s no time for character development. We get a rape scene almost immediately and that’s that. It’s not really an exploiting kind of scene but the theme itself is obviously revolting.

There is more focus on the actual revenge than on anything else. It’s rather monstrous executed and I would like to meet the guy who can watch some penis mutilation without quivering just a bit. If I would place this film in a genre, except for horror of course, I should be splatter. It’s a fine example of that, but there’s not really any humor as we’re used to. Maybe the blood splats a little too much for my taste and the effect of that might me more ridicules than anything else. As usually less is often more!

But you have to take into consideration that this is a flick that was made to learn a thing or two on how to make movies. Neither Ryan Nicholson nor the others are really master filmmakers yet. That is if you ever can master the art of making films? Like in everything else there are always thing to learn I’d say. However, I’d like to see this film as an interesting landmark when it comes to early career achievements. I can’t that That I recognize Ryan’s style so much in it but there are close ups of male genitals in it, faked of course!

But it gets a bit thin, the actors are hideous most of the time ‘and the whole production stinks of amateurism when it comes to editing and locations. And the fact is that even if the film starts right away, it still moves onward in a painfully slow pace. I would much rather have seen Ryan Nicholson’s original script, which is mentioned in the extras, if I’m going to completely honest with you.

But even if the film doesn’t attract me so much I still like the release! It’s a film that might be somewhat difficult to find on the market and it shouldn’t even have been released if I get it correctly. There was another version of the film in circulation on the net though and it’s been out there for a long time, maybe even since 2004. But this is the extended version with extra torture, new music and stuff like that. It looks great and if you’re a collector you must have this!

Review: Necronos: Tower of Doom - 2010

Recensionen på svenska

Necronos: Tower of Doom

Director: Marc Rohnstock

2010

Horror

The Devil has plans for the earth, to conquer it and to enslave all of mankind. They can’t all be killed since the berserkers need something to eat. His mighty minion – Necronos, comes to earth to find the most precious ingredients to ensure his arrival. Necronos is accompanied by Goran – a blood Golem and a mighty witch that will assist him in identifying the most precious of all – the virgin witch. Her blood ensures the arrival of Satan and Hell will come to earth. Necronos is about to raise an army of demons and rule what’s left side by side with Satan.

First of all we need to establish that this is an independent production with a very low budget. Therefore it cannot be compare to high budget films but I don’t think Marc Rohnstock was aiming for that anyway. Usually when it comes to flicks like this the whole point is to make it very cheap and possible learn something in the process. That is why I commend productions like this; they move the boundaries of what can be done. A small budget forces the filmmakers to innovative solutions which in turn makes the industry richer. There are many high budget films that could never have been done if these productions didn’t pave the way.

Having that said it’s no big surprise that this film has the usual problem independent films have. First of all there’s the acting of course but I actually think that better than usual so I can’t complain about that. The second thing is cinematography, possible because of cheaper equipment. This is the most obvious way to tell if a film have had a shoestring budget or not.

Being a splatter film the effects are our main concern though. Those are what’s important tm us. There are two general points about this I think. It should look believable and over the top at the same time. That’s actually a pretty hard task to accomplish. Most films never come close to this, not even major Hollywood productions. The other thing is inventive use of the gore. Just to pull an arm of without any fun way of doing it isn’t good enough. There need to be a point to it. Why is the arm coming of? Just for the gore of it? Some reason that moves the plot forward? Of course I’m only talking about this as an example here but I think this film pulls it off nicely. The splatter and Gore are quite nice and most of the time there’s a point in having it there.

As it is a German movie its dialog is in German of course. I have a hard time with it. Not because of the language itself but as most of the dialog is spoken through filters to make it feel more demon-ish. It’s slightly better than watching a flick dubbed into German of course but it’s still an ugly language. Fortunately it’s subtitled into English which I understand..

The main plot isn’t very deep. But again, it doesn’t need to be. We are interested in the gore and the nudity of course. There are quite a few full frontal nudity shots and there are boobs throughout the film. I like the way this is done since it’s not only perfect bodies. There are actually real people in it as well, some saggy women and fat men, just like people are. It would be nice to see perfect porn star bodies of course but less realistic. I think it’s done in the right way!

But even if the plot isn’t very deep you get details from the beginning. You are introduced to the characters by several texts and some teaser shots. We start a few hundred years back in time with some fantastic shots. There are some really great torture scenes here. I wish they make a prequel that exploits all this in a more detailed way! Most of the film takes place in the present where the virgin witch is sought for and the torture is kind of lost in the process. I wanted to see more blood running on the women’s naked vaginas rather than intestines in a meat grinder.

Will be released by Swedish Dark Entertainment.

UPDATE:
This just in...
Troma Entertainment will distibute the film for the whole US market within the next month.

Review: Excreamer - 2002

Excreamer

Director: Shane Mather

2002

Comedy/Horror

Aliens, hostile toilets, a lunatic scientist and a rampage contagion that reminds of classic zombie symptoms. This is only some of the things this movie contains. The background is that NASA sent up a secret spaceship, full of toilets, into space in 1971. The reasons for this is still commonly unknown except for those who occupies the most influential positions in the power structures hierarchy Many years later when the spaceship reappears on earth, an alien species has taken control of the toilets and sets about to make use of them in their own demented plans Suddenly, people all around the globe start behaving like they’re crazy and turns into perverted maniacs.

Is it really possible not to like a film with all these elements? It seems to be as good as it gets as long as the twisted plot is concerned. At least that’s the feeling I got from reading the storyline. I would, however, have liked some more contexts. It feels a bit like there are some scenes that are put together just for the heck of it, and for the sole purpose to put it out on DVD. Naturally there’s mitigating circumstances as the movie itself had absolutely no budget, and you more or less have to enjoy the good parts of it rather than disliking the bad.

This is absurdity combined with splatter and the most important thing about it isn’t the skills of the actors. They simply don’t have to meet the award winning standards for their contribution in a production of this kind. Also, there’s no point in getting irritated by the films lack of logic, the absurdities just have to speak for themselves. That’s part of, if not the entire point of, the humour itself.

As far as I’m concerned, I felt that there was a little too much poop in the movie. The zombie-like decease is namely spread though shit - through the mouth that is. How this came to be is uncertain since there is no distinctive coprophagy to fall back on. My own theory is that the toilet seats contaminate humans through regular use, through the intestines and through the mouth. I honestly wish that more time were spent visualizing of how the toilets chase the humans, since there since some of these scenes are just hilarious to watch!

The movie itself is just about 63 minutes long, but it’s enough. It feels as if you don’t need to se any more of the special effects by that time. It’s noticeable that the Mather brothers doesn’t master the effects in full and in some cases the blood looks more like beetroot juice than blood that I’m happy with. In this area they’ve done a lot better job with the poop effects. There is also some CGI involved, which gives the film a kind of an amateurish sci-fi feel (that I like). But this technique has, luckily enough, not been used whenever the violence is concerned and its use is limited to the environment and things like that.

Review: Bagman – Operation Massenmord! – 2004

I started reading review of this movie years ago. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that didn’t praise the film to be nothing less than a stroke of genius. I’ve wanted to see it for a long time but I was kind of worried about that the DVD only had French and Germen language to choose from and no English subtitles. Nevertheless I bought it and put it in the shelf for later viewing. Finally I took it down and saw it! I can say this: you don’t need to understand a single word in this movie. The plot is obvious even if there’s not much of it really. The main thing about is innovative murders and splatter and it’s a fine example of a good splatter film. I laughed my ass of at times and most of the gore looks really good too. I don’t know how much it cost to record by I’m guessing it wasn’t very much. I can live with a few scenes of bad makeup, masks and props when the rest is absolutely fabulous! It’s a very high paced flick with some of the greatest splatter action I’ve ever seen actually!

8/10

Review: Hanger - 2009

Hanger
Director: Ryan Nicholson
2009
Horror

Eighteen years ago a boy was born. He was thrown in a garbage container and left to die. His mother was a hooker and as she got pregnant she wasn’t to any use for her pimp anymore, no one was prepared to pay to bang her. The pimp solved the matter by aborting her unborn child with a hanger. Unfortunate for her she didn’t survive the procedure – and the child? Well, somehow he manages to survive and was taken care of by a homeless bum. Now, eighteen years later, the revenge is coming…

In Gutterballs, which I wrote about a little while ago, was not spare on showing genitals. At least not male ones and here it’s no less. Perhaps this is because it’s the same man – Ryan Nicholson who has directed this. I’d say it’s fairly probable that he likes having that kind of sleaze in his movies. This movie doesn’t contain as much male genitals though, but there are a couple of scenes with female ones. If they’re real or faked with latex I can’t really say, but it look really good. And in a couple of masturbation scenes there is no doubt!

"a future cult classic"

The theme is undeniable sexual, but it didn’t have to be. There are plenty of other films with revenge themes without having visible genitals and works fine anyway. But in the same time this represents something a little bit unusual and I think it make the whole thing a bit charming. The actors are pretty weak but there is something pleasing with the weird characters. I would call many of them retarded or mentally challenged and the dialog is pretty funny. The talk about pornography and categorizes it in different categories. They work at a garbage disposal place and collect whatever appeals to them; they all have different tastes in what arouses them.

There are also a couple of pretty explicit perversions in the movie, quite nasty to be frank, and this is not even a particular disgusting film. But a couple of scenes are a bit hard to see and that says a lot when it comes from an experienced critic with a soft spot for different flicks with challenging scenes.

I’m pretty pleased with the picture really. It’s not a masterpiece but the best I’ve seen from Ryan Nicholson so far. I will be interesting to se if he can do even more shocking films in the future. I think that he’s a movie maker I will have a good relationship to, or at least his movies. I hope for the best and I think that this will be a future cult classic!

Review - Gutterballs - 2008

Gutterballs
Regi: Ryan Nicholson
2008
Horror

Two gangs are rivals to each other and they meet at the local bowling alley. One thing leads to another and after a while one of the guys – Steve, has had it. He’s been humiliated for the last time and wants revenge real soon! When one of the girls in the other gang forgets her purse is he there waiting for her with some of his friends. It’s dark and they attack the girl with everything they’ve got. They brutally rape her and the rest of the movie, the main story begins. Someone is killing the bowlers one by one in bloody and perverted ways.

My only earlier encounter with Ryan Nicholson is Live Feed, a movie that had a fantastic cover that attracted me to it like few other films have.Unfortunate it was a real disaster. This movie is available with a very pleasing image on the cover too. A parody of Maniac, there is even a paraphrase of the tagline I Warned You Not to Bowl Tonight. On this release we are spared that kind of humour though, thankfully!

The actors are all quite bad but that’s something you’ll have to take when it comes to movies like this one. The main and most important thing is that the murder scenes are innovative and entertaining, and they are most of the time. I wouldn’t say that the murderous ways are a surprise all the time but since Ryan Nicholson doesn’t seem to be afraid to show genitals, real or fake, there is a lot of perverted ways someone can die in. There is obviously some sex in the movie, not any really pornographic scenes but a bit more than you might be used to from the typical slasher.

I think the murderer looks pretty cool even if the first appearance has kind of a comical effect. I really understand that the characters get killed in this movie by the way. They are so annoying that I couldn’t stand them for very long either. That guy, Steve… I wouldn’t last many minutes if I was in the same room as him, such a self centred asshole, a real loser. He complains about everything and many of the other characters do too. You can’t wait for them to die one by one!

The ending sequence feels pretty forced but you have to see this for what it is. It’s a kind of slasher and all the characters shouldn’t me likeable. But on the other hand, it doesn’t get very exciting if you can’t feel sorry for them either. But I don’t really think that Ryan Nicholson means to make this movie exciting or thrilling, it doesn’t really have that style. I think it’s made for pure entertainment and what more can you ask for than a bowling pin rape? Well, the revenge obviously!