Cult Flick Review: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park - 1978

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park

Aka: Attack of the Phantoms

Director: Gordon Hessler

1978

Music/Fantasy/Horror

Kiss is the largest music attraction in the world and they’ve come to play in this theme park. Meanwhile Abner Devereaux, the parks developer, gets even stranger ideas than usual and is ultimately fired by his old friend who happens to also be the owner. He plans his gruesome revenge! His plan to replace the famous rock group with his own creatures and use them to start a riot begins…

According to legend – haven’t you always wanted to start a review with those words? – Kiss themselves hates the movie. I don’t know if this is the truth or not; or if Ace and Peter should be involved in the hatred. It seems to me that Gene and Paul are the ones who always made all the decisions anyway; even when the classic lineup was a reality. But I understand them; this is a real piece of crap really! But on the other hand – I like it as hell! It poorly acted, the effects are really bad and the storyline is almost nonexistent. But still it’s very entertaining and the bands mythology – the demon, the star child, space Ace and the cat man. Each of them has their unique power which is brought to them via a certain talisman, is very amusing.

The band themselves are really poor actors! Gene is somewhat better and has in fact made a few parts since then. Runaway and Wanted Dead or Alive comes to mind. He is far better as a terrorist in those movies than as himself here though. How odd does that sound? Anthony Zerbe, who plays the main villain Abner Devereaux is pretty decent though. I mean that his character might be poorly written but I think he does what can be done with the part.

But it doesn’t really matter that the production is dull. There are entertainment values in this turkey beyond belief. Plus that all the music is top notch! There are even a scene where some androids (yes, it’s a long story) sings some barber shop. Well, maybe it isn’t such a long story after all. When this Abdner dude gets fired he uses his creations to attack the band and replace them with his own duplicates. He then plans to wreck the park by rewriting the lyrics to titles like Hotter than Hell, making it into Rip and Destroy and hope that Kiss’ fans will take it literally. Come to think of it, there is also a great acoustic guitar version of Beth!

If you can get hold of this I suggest you get it! It’s really bad but as I said it’s very entertaining! I once used a rating system where a U represented the grade. The right part was all the good aspects, the real quality stuff, and the left part was all entertaining. It was used as guidance to weather it was a really good film or just a bad but entertaining one. I’m not sure why this grading system was lost but I guess there was a problem visualizing it. Anyway, this would render a high rating on the left side of the U!

8/10

Extreme Flick Week: August Underground’s Penance - 2007

August Underground’s Penance

Director: Fred Vogel

2007

Extreme

By now we all know the premise of this film series. There are not much plot, handheld camera work and lots of death and torture, a faux snuff movie. I would like to say that this is by far the best of the three movies but it was too long ago that I saw the first film that I a hard time comparing them. But at least it’s a lot better than the previous August Underground’s Mordum!

It’s not as extreme as it’s predecessor but that’s really not a bad thing. It has a lot much dynamics which means that the gore scenes become more shocking since they’re not there all the time. The film also shows “normal” behaviour of the perpetrators and the contrast makes the extreme parts more shocking.

There is also a lot better picture quality here than before. Gone are the crappy VHS look and is replaced with a new more digitalized look. This means that you actually have a chance to see what’s going on. But since the camera work still is all over the place I guess you don’t see much anyway. But the gore you do see is very well made and looks as authentic as it could! You could say that instead of a crappy video camera we get a crappy digital camcorder.

I reckon that the fans of August Underground’s Mordum might find this a little bit stale as it’s nowhere near as extreme. But on the other hand, we who don’t think that Mordum is such a great flick might prefer this one. I know I do! I could never figure out what it’s all about though. Is this a trilogy designed to just shock and disgust or does it have some deeper meaning? We could debate about this forever I guess. Some people see it, most people don’t. To me it’s just about disturbed individuals who does just as they feel like without regret or remorse. It has some kind of anarchistic feel to it. Or perhaps a elitist point of view.

As it’s predecessors this is not a flick for everyone, but as soon as you read “extreme” on the top of the page you knew that right? It’s not necessarily a flick for me either but my curiosity is so great that I just had to give it a go. Not my kind of movie but still a decent one in its own genre!

6/10

Extreme Flick Week: Snuff 102 - 2007

A translation of a review I wrote a few years in Swedish.

Snuff 102
Director: Mariano Peralta
2007
Extreme

A Young reporter gets interested in extreme violence and starts to explore the myths of snuff. She didn’t expect to get into the middle of things when her investigations began but now she’s in a world of torture, rape and domination, you can also add a little humiliation to it. Come to think of it, it’s not such a small amount of humiliation either. After all, the tormenter and/or the buyer of the taped deeds should get what they pay for – in full!

The definition of snuff that is used here are quite far from my personal opinion of it. It’s quite enough that someone gets killed on camera, the commercial business and the thesis that snuff must contain some sort of storyline where the killings are a natural part are not present at all. Hence this film is about making a film with murder and torture with no real plot. It’s mostly in black and white and from Argentina. I think it look pretty authentic.

The quality of the picture is quite bad though, I expect it to be that if it were a real snuff film so I guess that’s realistic! It’s pretty hard to see anything though, to see if it’s faked or not. Obviously this is not the real deal, you don’t have to be a genius to figure that out and there are moments when even the poor quality can’t hide the bad faked effects. At some point the perpetrator hits the female victim several times in the face with his fist and each time he’s supposed to hit her, the picture goes black for an instant. And it’s obvious that the punches don’t hit her at all! But there are also really grim and rough scenes that looks truly genuine. At some point the tormentor cuts off all the fingers of his victim with some kind of gardening scissors which looks pretty gruesome and realistic!

There is also a scene with a pregnant woman lying on the floor on her back and the perpetrator stomps her stomach time after time. This might very well be the roughest scene in the entire movie by the way! And the cruelties should be endless really. The imagination of a sexually deviated tormenter should be about limitless. But that is not necessarily the case here. As a whole, this is pretty stale after all. That doesn’t mean that those who aren’t used to extreme violence in movies won’t get shocked, because I think that’s just what’s going to happen! It wasn’t so strong of an experience for me though and those who have seen a few extreme flicks probably won’t get very excited over this, but that’s just what I think.

But this is not a movie with just loads of torture in it after all. There are also some moral to the story, a deeper sense if you wish. I don’t think it’s obvious and I don’t think it’s really effective either. But as I see it there’s also a story about why you choose to see such a film about death. The film asks questions about how the organization to such a distribution would look like. There´s also the matter of if the possible buyer of this kind of material gets turned on by the fact that it’s for real or buy the torture which causes the death of the victims. Is a violent death more arousing than a less tormented one? If the latter is the truth I see these as a failure, the quality of the violent deaths are so poor that you hardly can make out what’s happening. If I were into this hit I would pay extra money so that I actually could see what was going on prior to the victims’ death, if that’s what I was after. And what is the main purpose, to hurt other in a painful manner or to humiliate and degrade them? I realize that this might be almost the same thing at times of course, and that both deviances can exist without the other. It’s just a thought.

There is a comment in the movie which kind of speaks for itself. It is claimed that a video with a child being tormented, rapes and finally murdered in front of the cameras are more expensive for the buyer than it is to actually purchase the child on the market. I’m really not surprised and the reality of this is such a shocking thought that it’s almost impossible to comprehend.

I hoped that the torture in this movie would be very strong and really shock me but that wasn’t the case. There are scenes where the tormentor’s own body is in the way, so that you can’t see anything. An easy way to fake thing perhaps but not very realistic (who what’s to buy a death tape where you can’t see what’s going on?)! There’s also very little real connection to the victims and I think about something that was stated in a film called King of the Kickboxers. You need to get to know the victim to some extent to feel sorry for him/her.

I had a hard time with the annoying camera work, the annoying music and the dimly lit events. It’s the technical aspect of the movie that’s most painful to watch and what makes it pretty boring to watch. I think that it shouldn’t have to be this way in a  movie of this kind but on the other hand the creators may have been forced to do it depending on money problems. As good as it gets compared to the budget in other words!

And finally I feel like I have to defend the movie a bit. After all, I’ve been pretty harsh to it. It’s quite intelligent and it aims at being more than just a torture flick. There’s some thought put into it that perhaps the budget wouldn’t allow to get executed and there are some points in it. But I don’t think I’ll ever bring myself to watch it again anyway.

Extreme Flick Week: Pig - 1999

Pig

Director(s): Nico B, Rozz Williams

1999

Extreme/Short

This is a movie in black and white with some very disturbing elements. It’s not very long and I recommend turning the volume up a bit before watching it. There are no opening credits but if there were they would have been silent. It take a while until you realize that there’s actually sound! And once you realize it and the film starts using it it’s very effective. There are some sequences close to genius execution of sound/picture combinations.

The plot revolves around a killer and his victim but it seem to be kind of voluntarily that the victim agrees to being treated the way that he does. He does not fight the aggressor and let’s himself get tortured in different ways. A central part of the film is also a book titled Why God Permits Evil or something similar in which the antagonist gets ideas for his methods of torture. This is included in the DVD release by the way!

I don´t want to get into too many details as it’s a short movie and I feel that some should be left to be surprised or astonished at when watching the movie. But even if I can’t be entirely sure it looks like that the violence is done for real! I can’t think of any other way to express it but if I put it simply I should plainly say that I love this!

8/10

Extreme Flick Week: August Underground’s Mordum - 2003

August Underground’s Mordum

Director(s):              

Jerami Cruise, Killjoy,

Michael Todd Schneider,

Fred Vogel, Cristie Whiles

2003

Extreme

As with the first part in this trilogy the plot is very shallow and concerns a couple of individuals’ killing- and rape spree. They stop at nothing to for fill their sexual desires including masturbating with a chopped off penis and raping a dead child! One would think that these things would be shocking beyond belief but that’s not entirely the case. Of course it’s disturbing but the whole movie is so hard to watch due to shaky handheld cameras anyway so when we come to the most disturbing part we’re already so tired of watching that we don’t have the energy to get revolted anyway.

Frankly, I had a difficult time staying awake and all the other times I’ve tried to watch it I had the same problem! It’s not disturbing in the right manner that’s for sure! If it were to shock me and make me feel sick (as I think the intention are) I wouldn’t have any problems keeping myself awake but this is just SO boring!

Comparing it to the first movie I would say that this is more extreme. But what’s the use if it doesn’t shock you? It’s hard seeing what’s happening and I doubt that a blu-ray edition would make anything any clearer. The whole point is to create an illusion of a crappy hand held camera and that illusion works great! That makes the picture quality one of the main problems and part of the reason why it’s so boring to watch.

From what I can work out the make-up effects are excellent though! That’s one of the better aspects of the movie. They were great in the first one and they are equally realistic here! So are the acting as well! The feeling of realism is the one true asset of the film and it’s nice to see such a low budget movie without crappy camera angels and lousy acting non realistic acting. How many times haven’t you seen great plots getting ruined by actors that couldn’t deliver a line if their life depended on it?

The bottom line is not very positive though. There are far more negative things to say than positive and the fact that I can’t stay awake for the 77 minutes speaks for itself. I don’t like this at all but I hope that the final part of the trilogy can make up for this!

2/10

Extreme Flick Week: The Gateway Meat - 2008

The Gateway Meat

Director: Ron DeCaro

2008

Extreme

Set in present time, society is getting stale when everyone revolves to using I phones and stuff and going with the flow rather than to actually think by themselves. The President of the United States I shot and in the aftermath a family of Satanists takes this as a sign for attempting to open a doorway to hell.

Some of these extreme flicks are a bit hard to comprehend. I mean, I would never had figured the above out if it hasn’t been written in the beginning of the film. There’s a lot of violence but I couldn’t have figured out the Satanist part. I’m also lost when it comes to how the doorway to hell should be opened. But on the other hand, there would be no chance in hell that I’d figure out Begotten either…

The strong part of the movie isn’t necessarily the violence – at least not by itself. But there is the contrast of the kid, a girl maybe four or five years old, and the over-the-top violence that really makes me uncomfortable when I watch. The scenes are mixed and it goes from ultraviolent to beautiful and innocent in a heartbeat. There are beautiful sequences of flowers and butterflies and suddenly gross footage of a decomposing corpse which is very unsettling. It’s done a few times and succeeds in shocking effect ever time too!

It’s hard to evaluate the acting, what should be the comparison point? It’s not anything that would get any award but on the other hand it’s a bit better than most of the low budget splatter films I’ve seen. And there’s not much humor either (luckily). Many of the scenes are very original and there seems to be a lot of thought out in the filth. There isn’t so much nudity but it makes up for that with the gore. It’s really well done and there at few if any scenes where someone chews on intestines’, it’s a matter of opinion really (no it’s not a cannibalistic flick).

It’s a gross movie and as I said before I was very uncomfortable at times. Still it’s a very slow paced story that I don’t really get. There are odd characters which are very entertaining and if you exclude the Satanist part it’s so much more entertaining! Look at the gore, the violence and the portrayal of the characters and you might find it really entertaining!

5/10

Extreme Flick Week: I spit on your corpse, I piss on your grave - 2001

This is a translation of a review written in Swedish from 2005.

I spit on your corpse, I piss on your grave

Director: Eric Stanze

2001

Extreme

Sandy (Emily Haack)voluntarily let herself be kidnapped by her ex boyfriend (Eric Stanze). She soon realizes that sex is not the only thing he’s after. Three men are chained up in the basement and Kevin – the boyfriend, describes in detail why he’s going to torture and kill them before her eyes and finally do the same with her! Sandy acts fast, she overtake Kevin and kills him. But what she does next is not in the lines of normal behaviour. She doesn’t free the other hostages at all, neither does she call the police. Instead she keeps them chained up and starts to torture them both mentally and physically to a certain death. She’s totally out of control!

I’m not entirely sure if this really should be classifies an and “extreme” film but it’s very nasty and deals with themes you’d never se in a big budget Hollywood film so I guess that makes it legitimate!

This is the third film by Eric Stanze that I see. I really like his style when it comes to telling the kind of storylines that he does. This might not be the best of his films but it sure has its moments. I recognize his style and there’s some guts and intestines’ of course. There is also lots of naked skin so if you’re looking for that kind of stuff you won’t be disappointed! But if the intent were to make the viewer sick to the stomach it’s not enough. There is something missing that I really can’t put my finger on. The pace it a bit low and you’ll have to wait both for the nakedness and the torture.

There’s no doubt that other rape/revenge flicks has inspired Stanze to make this one. Classics like I Spit on you Grave, Last House of the Left and House on the Edge of the Park were obviously in Stanzes head when he wrote the script! The nostalgia is obvious and the cruelties are visualized in a way were there’s really no emotions present. It makes you feel almost like a voyeur and still it’s as far from entertaining violence as you can come! There are shock values and the disgusting violence sort of feels real!

Emily Haack plays the leading roll with the same brilliance that made her presence in Stanzes Scrapbook to great! She’s really a very good actress which is something you’re not too used to when it comes to extreme violence movies such as this one. The other actors are ok but nothing more and nothing less for that matter. They can all be ignored there’s really no use analyzing their contribution to the movie.

A fun trivia about the film is when the sealed bags with faked body parts and stuff like that were found someone called the police and Eric Stanze had to explain that he was a film maker and that this was left overs from the film rather than the real deal. Several policemen and some coroner arrived to the scene and Stanze had to tell his story over and over again. This somehow got the attention of the press of course and soon Eric Stanze could be proud of making TOO good special effects for his movies!

If you like rape/revenge flicks I think this one will suit you just fine!

Extreme Flick Week: August Underground - 2001

This review is based on one I wrote in Swedish 2005.

August Underground

Director: Fred Vogel

2001

Extreme

What would you do if you found a videotape with two men executing the most hideous crimes? Crimes that you imagination never even could come up with? If you found a tape with severe sexual assaults and torture, would that shock you? What if it contained Coprophagia and cannibalism? This is the journal of two men, their way of documenting their everyday life and the violent killings they do just for fun…

There’s only a handful flick more infamous than this one! I can’t really say if that’s because it’s kind of difficult to get by, at least on a legitimate DVD. I would imagine it’s a lot easier to find a downloadable version as this seems to be the way things are done these days, but what fun is it to own an illegal copy anyway? I think part of the truth is that this film is somewhat unique. It’s filmed in subjective mode and is really extreme! The rumor has it that Fred Vogel got the film taken away from him in the Canadian customs and that is cause him to spend ten hours of his life behind bars. And that he didn’t even get to take the film with him once he was released.

If I were to compare it with anything else I would use the Guinea Pig film The Devils Experiment. There is a lot better documentary feeling in this one though. There are very few things to give away that it’s actually fake and not for real! The picture quality is bad just as it would be if it were the real deal filmed by a mediocre video camera. The victims act like the really are about to die and the perpetrators seems to be totally mental fucked up! They are truly sadistic and get aroused by their innocent victims’ pleas for mercy and laughs in the victims’ faces. They are in total control and won’t let anything get in their way!

But even it’s a unique film we can still debate on how strong it really is. For an experienced film critic such as myself it’s really not that much of a big deal. I have seen too much violent and bizarre film to be totally shocked by this. In fact, it gets quite boring at times. There are too many scenes which don’t contribute to any uncomforting feelings at all that make it all lose pace. But that’s a paradox of sorts too! It’s just those scenes that make the illusion of reality so good! We get to follow the bad guys both when they kill sadistically and when they to the most trivial things. I think that a mainstream viewer would be really shocked of this and it’s an extreme movie; there is no doubt about that! The films tagline describes it pretty well too by the way – The Sickest Film Ever Made. It might not be completely true but it’ll still give you a hint on what you are about to see!

6/10

Trailer: upcoming flick - Sendero

I don't think I've ever seen a flick from Chile before, I hope I get the oppertunity to review this though, it looks awsome!

Review: Cell Count - 2012

Cell Count

Director: Todd E. Freeman

2012

Horror/Sci-Fi

If you get the decease you’re as good as dead. Russell’s wife Sarah’s got it and she has no chance of surviving what so ever… except for the chance Dr. Brandt offers Russell. He has the choice of seeing his wife suffocate by her own blood and vomit and to pay tens of thousands of dollars for the hospital costs or join in with his wife in a little experiment. Dr. Brandt is very convincing and promises that Sarah will be free of the decease within weeks. But Dr. Brandt fails to inform them of the side effects. Maybe the decease itself isn’t so bad after all, maybe the curse is worse?

I get the feeling that this is set somewhere in the near future but it could very well be told as a present time story as well. It’s not really important just as long as you don’t expect space traveling and serious futuristic technology. All in all it seems pretty realistic actually. Apart from a few details as the decease for instance. The cure is kind of out of this world as well but that’s not very important. What is important is the suspense and the experiment itself! What’s it all for and what results and conclusions are Dr. Brandt hoping to find?

The film doesn’t give you too much information, which is a good thing; just enough to keep it interesting. The pace might be a bit slow to begin with but after half the movie or so that’s no problem anymore. The suspense takes over and the questions that the movie has accumulated begins to really take over you mind!

We get some answers of course, otherwise it would not have been such a great movie I think, but there are still unanswered stuff at the end. That bothers me a bit since I feel like the missing bits and pieces are very important! They might very well turn the whole purpose of the film upside down depending on the truth. The entire timeline might get different if the answer is told in a different way. Maybe this is an intentional move but the director to make us think about it after the film has ended. After all, some of the most interesting films I’ve seen leaves something for the viewer to think about.

If we were to talk about the acting and makeup effects for a while I wouldn’t have much to say. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I think all of the actors portray their rolls trustworthy. And the makeup effects are done the same way. It might not be pretty but it’s always realistic!

It is a love story about a man who gives everything up for the woman he loves. But it’s also a story about a sadistic doctor when seeks a cure for an incurable decease. Why he does this is one of the remaining questions. I don’t think its money, possible fame but not probable. I wish that the ending scenes would have given one more clue. But it’s still a great movie and it will be graded as one!

8/10

News: Watch Unspeakable for free!

News: Hudson Horror Show 666

I just got a press release for this event. It's a little too distant for me to attend but I'm sure it's worth while if you are in the area!

On Saturday, December 1, 2012 (12-1-12), the Hudson Horror Show 666 features a whopping six films (for the price of five), along with shorts and vintage trailers, all off rare 35mm films. It is a massive, sweaty 12-hour burst of horror and exploitation!

This is by far the largest and most diverse range of films we have ever presented. The show starts and the sky will be torn when you run from the devil's rain! Actor Ernest Borgnine, William Shatner, Tom Skerrit and a performance by John Travolta, this is the coolest of Satan Chic classics from the 70s.

One of the greatest exploitation movies of all time, Switchblade Sisters, talks about the Dagger Debs, the tough girl gang whose members was hot as hell. Quentin Tarantino loves this movie, but have not really stolen from it yet!

Not many sequels can be just as their predecessors, but PHANTASM II is one of the few. With more action, more dwarves, and well, more balls, crushes Phantasm II myth that all sequels suck.

There are no dwarves in Re-Animator, but director Stuart Gordon unrated bloodbath has just about everything else. Mad scientists, zombies, Talking Heads and the most insane oral sex scene ever committed to celluloid, this film is cinematic proof that Jeffrey Combs was robbed of a Best Actor Oscar 1985th

Let the trumpets sound for Crom, after 30 years, the original Conan the Barbarian makes triumphant return to the big screen! Forget boring, anemic remake, Arnold Schwarzenegger breakout movie gives more blood, blades and chest than most vintage slasher films.

Speaking of slasher films, what is a Hudson Horror Show without one? Have no fear as our mystery film now appears to be the original Black Christmas. Again, screw the remake, it's the original yuletide horror classic from 1974, which many claim to be the very first true slasher film. And any movie with John Saxon kicks only major ass!

Be sure to get extra money we will have vendors selling more goods than ever before. Comic books, movie posters, super cool magnets, rare DVDs, T-shirts, artwork and more will be fighting at the HH666. Horror Author Jason Gehlert will also be in attendance signing copies of his brand spanking new book, Jeremiah Black. This book sounds even sicker and more twisted than Jason's other works, for all his info go to www.facebook.com / jason.gehlert.

Advance tickets are $ 26.00 in advance on our website, if one day tickets left, they will be $ 30.00 at the door day show, cash only. Doors open at noon, show starts at 01:00 and runs until 12:00. A ticket, you get entry in and out all day.

For more information about the show, head of www.hudsonhorror.com or email us at info@hudsonhorror.com. Advance tickets go fast and are only on sale until Monday November 26 at 11:59. Buy your tickets now! See you on 12-1-12!

Interested in becoming a vendor at the next show? Just shoot us an email to info@hudsonhorror.com.

Have a Happy Halloween!

Review: Doll Boy - 2010

Doll Boy

Director: Bloody Bill

2010

Horror/Short

This flick has a very shallow plot possibly not worth mentioning. Well, of course it is! It’s just that it can be describes in just a few words and it feels more appropriate to incorporate it into the text rather than use an entire paragraph in bold letters. The main thing about the flick isn’t really the deep plot anyway. We have all seen films where the main thing is to watch the killer kill his victims rather than a great character development. This is one of them! But the actor is quite nice and the killers mask is very creepy! He has some people locked up in this maze of tunnels that used to be a flea market of some sort. He terrorizes them by chasing them and kills them one at a time. That’s the whole thing really.

But as I said, the acting is good and the murder scenes are not bad either! There are some splats on the wall and things like that which add to the experience of watching it. Small details are often what make a movie like this watchable. You can’t really make an interesting movie with such a shallow plot without adding something. Here both the environment and the killer himself are very cool plus the actors as I already claimed a couple of times. There are also a couple of truly gruesome scenes – not necessarily filled with guts and gore – that makes me feel kind of revolting inside. This happens for the first time in the opening sequence and that’s a good place to start making it interesting for us.

Since the flick is just about half an hour long there’s really not enough time to add any suspense, but it’s still very exciting at times. I would be lying if I’d say it was all the time but as most movies it has its ups and downs. There’s more positive thing than negative thing though and considering that this is “Bloody Bill’s” directional debut I’ll be very forgiving.

I’m not sure if the intro trailers are for real or fake but I must say that I need to see a flick called Mister Fister and is about a lunatic killer obsessed by killing women in a certain particular way. I think you’ll figure out just how by the title! There’s also another one which seems very entertaining about cannibalistic clowns… God, I hope these are for real. That’ll put “Bloody Bill” up with some of the more deranged and sick directors out there! And I mean that in a good way! Just saying!

6/10