Die Die Delta Pi – 2013 – full frontal nudity!

I think most of us, those of us that like slasher flicks, have seen this story before. It’s really nothing new. I won’t spoil it for you but it involves an accidental death in the past and revenge in present day. It also obviously revolves around a sorority and the girls there. These are exploited of course. Early on there’s full frontal nudity and there’s a few scenes with naked breasts although the movie. This is a cliché approach of course, but it still works in the context of it all.

As most slasher flicks there are really bad acting. Most of it actually but it’s the same thing here. The bad acting serves as funny cliché references. It’s obvious that the movie makers know what they’re doing as they take advantage of it for humorous relief. Often the point of these flicks is not to scare and frighten but to amuse, and this movies does that. Bad acting, stupid dialog but really good makeup effects makes the film worthwhile.

5/10

The Lashman – 2014 – Modern retro slasher

Once you’ve seen a slasher from the golden era you can never get satisfied with a modern one, until now. This one follows the classic layout, a few teenagers in the woods, telling a ghost story by the camp fire (which later comes to life). There is some nudity in it but not too much, just like it was back in the day. It’s just enough to make it interesting but not enough to make it too sleazy or pornographic. If you’re looking for that, keep looking. We’ve got the fat nerd, “crazy Ralph” and youngsters looking to score with the girls. Yes, we’ve seen it before!

The acting is surprisingly good! I was really taken by surprise by the quality of the actors. I started out thinking it was just another independent flick with mediocre acting – at best! This was way better in that sense. The characters may not be deep but there is some tension between them and that’s all you really need.

The movie as a whole is a bit slow to get to the action I think. We almost gets bored with it during the “talky” first half of it. We get a teaser in the beginning and we realize the there are going to be more murders in the film. And about an hour later, or slightly less, the killing spree begins. The Lashman turns up killing them one by one…

I kind of like it even though it is cliché and that we’ve seen it all before. It was a long time ago that I saw a modern slasher this retro!

6/10

Midsummer Nightmares 2: Summers End – 2014 – There’s a lot of cleavage!

Director: Ryan Stacy

Horror

I write this without the benefit of having watched the first one. The reason for this is that I want to treat this as an individual movie rather than a sequel. This might also be the cause for why I don’t totally get it. It seems to me that there’s way to much talk about stuff I don’t really connect to the movies main plot. Correction: of course it’s connected to the main plot, just not in a way that makes a lot on sense.

I can’t really say that it works as slasher. It’s not suspenseful enough, it’s not bloody enough. As a thriller? Well, there’s that thing about suspense again. A thriller more than anything revolves around suspense. The actors are quite bad most of the time but the thing the flick lack is suspense sounds and music. These things can do wondrous things with a mediocre plot.

To be honest, I don’t get this plot. There’s way to much talk about what happened before that’s unknown if you haven’t watched the first movie. I will watch it later though and see if I can connect the dots. The things I get are that some crazy killer from the past returns to kill off a bunch of friends. I don’t know why, there isn’t much motivation to anything in the movie. Why, why, why? That’s always the thing we should get to know one way or another. Except if you’re David Lynch, then you can get away with a totally confusing movie.

It’s hard to separate the acting from the direction. Who’s really to blame? I can’t say for sure but there is at least one saving grace – Christy Faulkner, who does the part of this hot ginger head Amber. She’s by far the most skilled actor in this production. That’s my opinion anyway! Many of the others, not all of them of course, seem to be in the production just to add cleavage values! That’s not necessarily a bad thing saying so makes me feel like a dirty old man. But perhaps that’s just what I am. The thing is that there’s a lot of cleavage but not enough boobs for it to be really sleazy. The attempt is fine to begin with but it does not work all the way.

All in all this is a little to amateurish for me to get off on. It’s a pretty short movie, about 70 minutes – luckily! It feels much longer than that since the pacing is so slow. Why don’t the killer come out and kill some of the characters already. There’s a decent teaser in the beginning of the film, but then there’s all that cleavage… In the end there’s an obvious attempt to surprise us which only add to the confusion. Just make it simple next time!

But did I regret seeing this? Do I want my time back? Not really. It was still worth my time and it should be worth your time too. It may not be top notch but very few movies are and there are after all some intriguing things about it. Did I mention Christy Faulkner?

4/10

Ps. having watched the first instalment of this I can now say I get it! At least I get it more than I did before. My views above haven’t changed, it’s still a confusing movie but if you have seen the first film you much better off. It would facilitate your understanding for this! Ds.

Midsummer Nightmares – 2011 – a realistic slasher

Director: Ryan Stacy

Horror

I did things a bit backwards when it came to this. I watched the sequel first and then this one (don’t ask). It may not have been my smartest move ever but there was a reason for it. And trust me; you don’t have to have seen the sequel to appreciate this! It doesn’t have the best actors and actresses in the world. Actually there is a majority of the latter. On the other hand it’s not unusual in a slasher. It’s often the women that get killed first and a woman who survives the trauma too! It doesn’t have the densest plot either but there’s something to it that gets to me. It seems honest and it doesn’t promise you anything that it can’t deliver.

It’s a bit slow-paced and too talky for my tastes. But at the end of the day it still delivers some great scenes. It may not be a traditional slasher with a killer on rampage going on in most of the movie but it has a killer in a cool mask and there’s some torture in the end too! I wouldn’t say that the killer’s motives are shallow but in the end it seems to be pretty farfetched. It works I guess.

The movie is about 75 minutes. That’s long enough to tell the story and long enough to get bored with the low pace. When we put on a slasher to watch we want some blood and we want it now. Come to think of it, there’s a lack of blood in this. There’s enough terror to be sure but not very much of that red. Maybe it should be considered more of a thriller since all “action” is concentrated to the end sequence. This is often true for the slasher too of course. Just look at the most famous ones, Friday the 13^th and Halloween. There’s suspense right ‘til the very end when all hell breaks loose.

I realize that comparing this amateurish movie to Halloween or even Friday the 13^th is to put it in little too big shoes. But the main principle is the same. In the end everything falls to place even if it is, as I said before, a little farfetched. On the other hand, the famous movies in the genre aren’t exactly realistic either. You could say that this actually wins that completion easy as it’s far more realistic than the famous slasher. Maybe that’s what I like about it? It’s not gory and it’s not scary, but I’ll be damned – it’s realistic!

6/10

You can get it here:

Concept Media Films

Review: Famine - 2011

Famine

Director: Ryan Nicholson

2011

Horror

This is kind of a slasher flick, but it’s not. It’s also kind of a splatter movie, but it’s not. You might compare it to a rape/revenge fcli but there’s no rape. I guess you could say it’s something right in between. The actors are quite bad, but that’s to be expected. The story is ok I guess and the script does what it’s supposed to do – except… There are sexual tensions throughout the entire movie, actresses with huge tits and low angel camera shots but there´s not enough real sleaze! I feel that we get fooled out of our rightful share of skin and compared to what Ryan did in Hanger and Gutterballs this is a bit lame in that sense.

The gore is nice though! It’s not overdone and it mostly looks realistic. I like when it’s like that. When there are too much intestines the comic effect is more disturbing than anything else. Here is just one scene (that I can remember) where guts are spilled in that manner and even then it looks fine! The makeup effects are also quite good and serve the movie well. Especially when we get to see the acid burned teacher Balszak which might or might not be behind the entire smorgasbord of killing in the movie. He’s definite a suspect!

But it’s not very important who’s exposed as the killer in the end. We should be more interesting in the way there than the final solution of things. There are a few entertaining murders on the way and that’s where the entertaining lies. The killer is masked as the school’s mascot by the way, a very cool mask for the murderer I would say!

And even though the actors are really bad and we get fooled out of the nudity (there’s only one short topless scene) I still like it. I don’t quiver with joy over it but it’s good fun and cool murders!

6/10

Review: Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! - 2006

Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!

Director: Chad Ferrin

2006

Horror

Cine Du Monde

Remington claims that Mindy is his true love in life but he’s obviously a grafter luring his way into the family for whatever reason. Mindy also has a son, sixteen years old with Easter as his favorite holiday. Actually the kid is somewhat retarded and cannot really cops with reality. His greatest hero in life is his father and the Easter Bunny. When he gets a rabbit from a complete stranger he really starts to shine. Remington, only in for using Mindy, hates the boy – Nicholas, and the boy hate him back. Using threats Remington means to fool Mindy to believe that they can be on happy family. But when Mindy needs to get to work, Remington phoned a perverted man trying to sell Nicholas to him. No marks and no memory are the rules. In the meantime Remington goes out to get some prostitutes for the Easter party. But the party doesn’t go as he thinks, soon there’s a deranged killer on the loose killing of the people one by one…

It’s pretty obvious that this picture didn’t have a massive budget and the cinematography betrays its underground origin. I like underground cinema though and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it being obvious either. Especially when it’s done as nicely as here, it feels like you’re in the movie sitting like a fly on the wall rather than just seeing a picture on the TV. That’s always a good and intersecting thing in my home. I wouldn’t say that it’s exciting but it is somewhat suspenseful at times!

It takes a while for the movie to really get going but the characters are interesting and the acting is surprisingly good! I have some trouble believing the retarded kid as I think he overacts quite a bit but you can’t have everything and I don’t really know how retards talk anyway, it might be very accurate after all.

The intro shot (in a double sense) is quite disturbing and in your face. You get to see someone in an Easter Bunny mask robbing and killing a store clerk. It’s not a secret who did it for long though and we get to follow Remington on his was getting in to the family. At first we get the feeling that he’s only wants Mindy for sex, and she is rather good looking, but later, when he tries to sell Nicholas to a perverted bloke that seems ecstatic over getting the chance to abuse a retarded kid. At this point I thought this was the true meaning of the movie, an exploitation of perverted abuse of the boy. It really builds a tension but I was wrong. The next thing happening is that the Easter Bunny comes along and starts to kill people. It’s of course not the true Easter Bunny, just someone in the initial Easter Bunny mask and you can guess who it is, or at least try to guess. It seems obvious, but it’s not!

At this time Remington goes out hoping to get some pussy for his party. No problem since he knows his way around and picks up a couple of prostitutes. Here’s where the first nudity in the film takes place and I thought it would become somewhat sleazy. But there’s really no more than a few tits to be exposed. Not that I complain but I thought it would be a little bit more in that department!

Now the film takes its final turn and becomes what it’s been all along really. I wouldn’t call it a full scale slasher but it’s sure the main theme of the film. There’s also a lot more commenting on the nuclear family issues and mental disturbances. I had my doubts when watching it but when it’s finished I can see that this was a really good movie and well made with some thought put into it. It gives me so much more than just a basic exposition film and as for the killings; they’re done with some unusual tool. Well, at least it isn’t just knives and axes and things like that. We get to see drills, circular saws and stuff like that! And yeah, the ending took me by surprise and that’s unusual! Good Movie!

Bilder: © 2006 Crappy World Films © 2011 Cine du Monde (UK Licence)

Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street - 2010

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Director: Samuel Bayer

2010

Horror

A burned man with a striped sweater, a glove with razor sharp knives and a hat haunts some teenagers in their dreams. The dreams turns out to be more real all the time and if you’re hurt in them, then you’re hurt for real. One by one, the teenagers die violently in their sleep without having an obvious connection between each other. They’re found torn by Freddy Krueger’s knife glove and no one can explain why. The youth’s parents have some of the answers however. They know who the scary man is, why he haunts the kids and what he’s avenging.

                     

I think that the above synopsis is rather unnecessary really. If you read this review you already know what this movie is all about. I think its common knowledge that this is a remake of a classic horror movie from 1984. Very few characters are so iconized as Fred Krueger and its all Robert Englunds doing. And the fact is that even long before this movie was made reality it was rejected by a whole world of horror film communities. All because that Freddy wasn’t portrayed by Robert Englund and that there was no way in hell it would be possible to remake such a classic masterpiece.

I won’t deny that I had my own doubts about it, but I’m so experienced these days that I realize you shouldn’t have preconceptions about these things. You can never know until you’ve actually seen it! To judge a film, or something else for that matter, before you’ve experienced it is plain idiocy! I would place this film in the category of movies that aren’t as bad as everyone who hasn’t seen it claims it to be. I’d say it’s rather good actually! Perhaps comparisons with the original are a stupid thing to do, but some things just can’t be helped. I think that the strength I this movie lies somewhat in the small variations that are made from the original. There are subtle hints to the original that is quite entertaining too.

So it has more strength as a new interpretation of the original story than standalone feature, at least that’s my view about it. Obviously it’s a sign of weakness that you need pre knowledge about it to really enjoy the movie to its fullest, as it’s a sign of weakness that you need to be familiar with short stories and novels to reach an optimal viewing experience. It’s a totally different film than the original films, or at least what the original films came to be after a few sequels. There isn’t very much of the humor from the latter movies of the original series, but there are a few one-liners a couple of times.

The new Freddy, which is played by Jackie Earle Haley (Probably best known from Watchmen), looks rather good through my eyes. There is a difference in makeup but on the other hand it’s more realistic too. It looks as if he was burned and it’s quite creepy actually. There are quite a few surprise effects in it and I for one don’t tend to like them very much. I think they’ve done a great job here though! The effects are nice looking and even if there are some cgi here and there it’s barely noticeable. It looks good more or less. The death scenes are successful and the hints to the original films make it all worthwhile watching. I say films since it’s not all about the first film but about several of them. I think it’s pretty thought through!

Something that I also like about this, something that I not necessarily like when it comes to other remakes (Halloween for example) is that you get a little more background to the story. Freddy isn't just a boogeyman and a killer, you get a little more motivation to the story. What it is that drives him to do what he does and so on. The other characters aren’t very interesting but there’s nothing to distinguish them in a negative way either.

Bottom line is that this was a good and positive acquaintance for me. I wish that all fans of horror could se it without prejudice because if there is something that will ruin it, there you have it! In either case I have a dilemma, I don’t know if I dare to watch the original again, this is so good that I’m worried that my nostalgic memories regarding the original are just that – nostalgic…

Review: Cut - 2000

There’s a low budget horror movie being made. At least until the film’s director get killed. She’s murdered on the set and the actor playing the killer also dies. After this the film seems to be cursed and every time someone tries to finish it someone dies. Now a group of students are about to give it another try. They convince the original films star to once again appear in the film and goes to the original location for their completion shots. It doesn’t take too long before people starts to die… Writing the above made me think a bit of A Return to Horror High even if the comparison is truly unjust. I also get vibes from one of the Urban Legend films, can’t remember which though, probably the second one. I think this is supposed to be silly though, it’s a comedy first and a horror/thriller after that. It works but it’s no masterpiece. Kylie Minogue is in it and that’s about as fun as it gets. Yeah, and Molly Ringwald does a real diva bitching part too!

4/10

Review: 7eventy 5ive - 2007

7eventy 5ive

Director(s): Brian Hooks, Deon Taylor

2007

Horror

The semester is over on the university and a time of constant party and sex is coming up. The coolest gang of them all – The Crew, gets invited to a gigantic party at a rich classmate’s parents mansion. There will be all of the above, sex, alchohol and party 24/7. At least that’s what they think. An innocent game soon gets out of control. The point is to call a random number and fool the receiver 75 seconds without being caught in the act. When they call the “wrong” number they end up talking to a complete maniac who traces their call back to the mansion and only has one goal in sight – to kill them all with his sharp  axe!

This is one of the most interesting slashers that I’ve seen in a couple of years. It doesn’t hide behind too much annoying humour even if there are some comical clichés here and there. It’s also very well acted and that’s not something we see every day when it comes to slasher kind movies. It almost takes us back to the golden eighties and it’s quite brutal too! By that I don’t necisarily mean that you get to see everything I detail and that the film is gore soaked, but there’s plenty to satify the gorehounds too I think.

                           

It’s also suspensefull! It can be compare to the greatest movies in the genre and it has a masked killer running about. Well, he has a winter jacket with a hood over his head. It’s kind of strange since al the others are just wearing t-shirts. In other words – it’s not very cold.

                                               

You luckily don’t see this kind of movie for the logic because there are a few thing I could mention besides the winter jacket. But I won’t, the brutality and close up violence outweigh the logic flaws anyway. It might not be amazingly inventive but it’s entertaining enough! Most of the time the axe is the murder weapon. I hope I didn’t give anything away there…

The reason I got this movie in the first place is the fact the Rutger Hauer is a part of it. He’s an investigator who can’t let go of a previous murder spree with the same modus operandi. He does a great job but this part also means that the rest of the film loses pace and that might not attract others than die hard Hauer fans. On the other hand, this part of the movie might be necessary for the end twist. I don’t know, I should have been possible to solve it in other ways as well. But for me it’s nice to watch Hauser doing his job, even if he can do a part like this in his sleep.

As a neo-slasher it’s really good!